


Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros

by Creek1989



Category: South Park
Genre: And not too happy about it, Boys In Love, Boys Will Be Boys, Characters to be added, Clyde is the butt of the joke, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Stendy, Implied Tokole, Love/Hate, Love/Hate Friendship, Mentioned Bunny, Mentioned Clybe, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Problematic Style, Profanity, Rating: M, groupchat au, possibly cringy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-09 06:35:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12270885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creek1989/pseuds/Creek1989
Summary: Every clique in South Park needs a place where they can talk with each other when they can't all be together.Craig and those guys have just got one.





	1. Craig is evil

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to have a go at a groupchat au as well, so here we go. Hope its not too bad, aaah.

**Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros **

 

 

**[Clyde Donovan has joined Craig and those guys]**

 

**[Craig Tucker has joined Craig and those guys]**

 

**[Token Black has joined Craig and those guys]**

 

**[Tweek Tweak has joined Craig and those guys]**

 

 **Clyde Donovan:** is this our chat room?

 

 **Token Black:** apparently. but who tf named it Craig and those guys

 

 **Craig Tucker:** good name

 

 **Tweek Tweak:** nice

 

**[Stan Marsh has joined Craig and those guys]**

 

 **Stan Marsh:** hey

 

 **Craig Tucker:** tf u doing here

 

 **Stan Marsh:** im site admin u prick

 

**[Craig Tucker has left Craig and those guys]**

 

 **Clyde Donovan:** harsh dude

 

 **Stan Marsh:**...

 

 **Stan Marsh:** anyway, all 4 of u have room admin rights in here. for now

 **Stan Marsh:** but only 1 of will get to keep them. decide among urself who's it gonna be

 

 **Clyde Donovan:** really? does dat mean i can do this?

 

**[Clyde Donovan has renamed Stan Marsh to Stan Harsh]**

 

 **Clyde Donovan:** sweet!

 

**[Clyde Donovan has renamed Token Black to Dat token black guy]**

 

 **Dat token black guy:** the fuck clyde u dumbass

 

**[Clyde Donovan has changed his name to LadiesManClyde]**

 

**[Dat token black guy has renamed LadiesManClyde to DumbAssClyde]**

 

 **Stan Harsh:** goddamnit u guys

 

**[DumbAssClyde has changed his name to SmartAssClyde]**

 

 **Stan Harsh:** i made you all admins bcs i didnt wanna side with any of u

 

**[Craig Tucker has joined Craig and those guys]**

 

 **Stan Harsh:** i guess i made a mistake with clyde

 

**[SmartAssClyde has renamed Craig Tucker to Craig Fucker]**

 

 **Craig Fucker:** oh. u still here darsh?

 

**[SmartAssClyde has kicked Stan Harsh from Craig and those guys for 30 minutes]**

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : there i fixed it

 

 **Craig Fucker:** wtf happened to our names

 

 **Dat token black guy:** Clyde..

 

 **Craig Fucker:** clyde u idiot

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : wat

 **SmartAssClyde** : obvious only i should b admin

 

**[SmartAssClyde has changed the room name to Clyde and those guys]**

 

 **Craig Fucker** : oh hell no

 

 **Dat token black guy** : dont even think about it

 

 **Tweek Tweak** : WHY YOU

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : cuz i have the best sense of humor tweeky

 

**[SmartAssClyde has renamed Tweek Tweak to Tweeky]**

 

 **Craig Fucker** : dont call Tweek tweeky!

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : why not, craigay?

 **SmartAssClyde** : haha i wanted to say craigy but this is even better

 

**[SmartAssClyde has renamed Craig Fucker to Craigay]**

 

 **Craigay** : ill fucking kill u clyde

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : tweeky why does ur bf hate me, wat did i ever do wrong to him?

 

 **Tweeky** : oH JESUS YOU NAMED HIM CRAIGAY?!

 **Tweeky** : this is way too much pressure

 

**[Stan Marsh has joined Clyde and those guys]**

 

 **SmartAssClyde:** WAT?!BUT I KICKED U FOR 30 MINS!!

 

 **Stan Marsh** : im site admin you ass

 **Stan Marsh** : anyway if the rest of u all agree i can remove Clyde's admin rights now

 

 **Dat token black guy** : yep, he's too dumb to tie his own shoelaces let alone admin a chat room

 

 **Craigay** : agreed

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : noooo u guys whyyyy :'((((

 

 **Stan Marsh** : tweek your vote decides

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : tweeky pls say no!

 

 **Tweeky** : too much pressure!

 

 **SmartAssClyde** : Tweek if u say no ill buy u coffee

 

 **Tweeky** : i work at coffee shop clyde i can have as much as i want.

 

 **Dat token black guy** : only clyde is dumb enough to try and bribe tweek with coffee

 

 **Craigay** : yea that's like trying to bribe Token with...

 **Craigay** : money

 

 **Dat token black guy** : that's like the worst analogy ever

 

 **Craigay** : whatever

 **Craigay** : babe, it will be lot less pressure if clyde doesn't fuck this chat room up as admin with his dumbassiness

 

 **Tweeky** : i guess so

 **Tweeky** : okay then Stan

 

**[Stan Marsh has changed SmartAssClyde's status from Room administrator to User]**

 

 **Craigay:** should have changed it to loser

 **Craigay** : but this will do

 

**[Craigay has renamed SmartAssClyde to loser]**

 

**[Craigay has changed his name to SpaceManCraig]**

 

 **SpaceManCraig** : hm maybe not

 

**[SpaceManCraig has changed his name to Craig]**

 

**[Dat token black guy has changed his name to Token]**

 

 **Token** : much better

 

 **loser** : whyyyyy you guys :'( why you are alll so meannn to mee :'(

 

**[Craig has renamed loser to crybaby]**

 

 **crybaby** : i hate u craig ur not my best friend anymore

 

 **Craig** : whenever was i

 

**[crybaby has left Clyde and those guys]**

 

 **Tweeky** : oh jesus!

 **Tweeky** : what if clyde never talks to us again?

 **Tweeky** : WHAT IF HE KILLS HIMSELF!

 

 **Craig** : Tweek calm down, he wont kill himself

 

 **Token** : yea dont worry Tweek he'll be back in like 10 minutes when he stops sulking

 

 **Craig** : that room name sucks tho

 

 **Token** : we're not changing it to Craig and those guys!

 

**[Tweeky has changed the room name to Tweek's bros]**

 

 **Craig** : not bad

 **Craig** : wait, got a better 1

 

**[Craig has changed the room name to Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **Token** : ...

 

**[Craig has renamed Tweeky to Tweekers <3]**

 

 **Token** : i give up

 

**[LadiesManClyde has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **Craig** : wow, already finished crying Clyde? its been barely 3 minutes

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : Craig fuck u asshole im not talking to u, im here just for my REAL friends Tweeky and Tokey

 

 **Craig** : DONT FUCKING CALL HIM TWEEKY

 

 **Token** : DONT FUCKING CALL ME TOKEY

 

 **Tweekers <3**: GUYS PLS DONT FIGHT!!!

 

 **Craig** : Okay honey i wont

 

 **Token** : whoa someone's whipped ;)

 

 **Craig** : stfu Tokey

 

 **Token** : omg

 

**[Craig has renamed Token to Tokey]**

 

 **Tokey** : i cant believe this shit

 

 **Stan Marsh** : right.... well i hope u guys can manage by urselves, bcs i gtg now

 

**[Stan Marsh has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **Craig** : so who'll get to be admin

 

 **Tokey** : should be some1 unbiased

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : not craig then

 

 **Craig** : why the hell not

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : because youre anything but unbiased

 

 **Craig** : oh yea how so?

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : well u love tweeky, apparently hate me and dont care about tokey

 

 **Craig** : screw u clyde

 

 **Tokey** : not sure how its even possible but for once clyde is right 

 **Tokey** : who agrees Craig shouldnt be admin

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : me!!!

 

 **Craig** : et tu token?!

 **Craig** : I DISAGREE!

 

 **Tokey** : Tweek its your call. make an impartial decision

 

 **Tweekers <3**: WHY ME AGAIN. Im no good at decisions

 

 **Tokey** :. Just act as if you and craig were just friends or not even that

 

 **Tweekers <3**: oH GOD CRAIG IS BReaking up with me?!

 

 **Craig** : relax babe im never breaking up with you

 

 **Tweekers <3**: oh thats a relief

 **Tweekers <3**: i vote no

 

 **Tokey** : ffs

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : dude

 

 **Tokey** : this is getting us nowhere

 **Tokey** : screw this ill just do it

 

 ***YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO CHANGE ROOM ADMINISTRATOR RIGHTS. PLEASE USE VOTING SYSTEM** *

 

 **Craig** : haha!

 

 **Tokey** : there's a voting system here?

 

**= Tokey has called a vote: Change Craig's status from Room administrator to User =**

**= Subject (Craig) may not vote =**

 

 **Craig** : WTF why can't i vote

 

**= Tokey has voted YES =**

 

 **Tokey** : ofc you cant vote for yourself

 

**= LadiesManClyde has voted YES =**

 

**= Tweekers <3 has voted NO =**

 

**= Voting has PASSED =**

 

**[Voting System has changed Craig's status from Room administrator to User]**

 

 **Craig** : what bullshit

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : haha who's the crybby now

 

 **Craig** : pff its not like a give 2 shits

 

 **Tokey** : so its either me or Tweek

 

 **Tweekers <3**: i dont want to be admin, its way too much pressure

 

 **Craig** : relax pumpkin its no big deal.

 

 **Tokey** : pumpkin??? seriously?

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : awwww!

 

**[Tokey has renamed Tweekers <3 to Pumpkin<3]**

 

 **Pumpkin <3**: oh boy

 

 **Craig** : u can do it tweek, ur capable of more than u think. besides its easy anyway, you just mute or kick clyde whenever hes being an idiot, which is most of the time, ignore token and obviously side with your boyfriend

 

 **Tokey** : see thats exactly why ur not admin anymore craig

 

 **Craig** : also permanent ban for cartman if he ever tries to get in here

 

**= Pumpkin <3 has called a vote: Change Pumpkin<3's status from Room administrator to User =**

**= Subject (Pumpkin <3) may not vote =**

 

 **Craig** : dude no

 

**= Tokey has voted YES =**

 

**= LadiesManClyde has voted YES =**

 

**= Craig has voted NO =**

 

**= Voting has PASSED =**

 

**[Voting System has changed Pumpkin <3's status from Room administrator to User]**

 

 **Tokey:** thx pumpkin :D

 

 **Pumpkin <3**: no prob Tokey :-P

 

 **Tokey** : (•̀_•́)

 

**[Tokey has changed his name to It's Token, ffs!]**

 

**[It's Token, ffs! has renamed Pumpkin <3 to Tweekers<3]**

 

 **Tweekers <3**: i didnt want it anyway

 

 **Craig** : oh Tweek, why?? we couldve had so much fun in this chat room with you in charge!

 

 **Tweekers <3**: dont worry babe, we can have fun tonight in your bedroom with me in charge

 

 **Craig** : mmmmmmmmmmhh i like the sound of that

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : this chat room just got like 50 percent gayer

 

 **Craig** : and it will only go up. same as some other things ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : oh god no

 

 **Tweekers <3**: only one hour till i have to close the shop ;)

 

 **Craig** : aaah i cant wait

 **Craig** : and what exactly are you planning to do to me?

 

 **Tweekers <3**: oh you'll see! u better be ready ;-)

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : guys please keep it PG-13 here

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : yea i dont think

 **LadiesManClyde** : that i need to know all the details

 

 **Craig** : clyde, you are literally incapable of thinking. at all

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : fuck u craig im much smarter than u

 

 **Craig** : o rly

 **Craig** : then how about a little intelligence test

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : try me craig fucker!

 

 **Craig** : do u know what day and date is it today?

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : friday, 22nd of september. 

 **LadiesManClyde** : is that all? omg. so lame. yawn

 

 **Craig** : okay, so what day of the week is it gonna be on 31st of september

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : wait lemme count it

 

 **Tweekers <3**: umm, Clyde...

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : this is impossible

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : sunday!

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : dude

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : what? i counted it right, it'll be sunday!!

 **LadiesManClyde** : 22 friday 23 saturday 24 sunday 25 monday 26 tuesday 27 wednesday 28 thursday 29 friday 30 saturday 31 sunday!!

 

 **Tweekers <3**: clyde, you have a calendar in your phone, right?

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : yea, so?

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : wtf theres no 31 september here

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : ...

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : i hate you so much craig

 

**[LadiesManClyde has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **Tweekers <3**: OH NO

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : how the hell did clyde ever make it to junior year

 

 **Craig** : i dunno lol

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: guys maybe you should be nicer to clyde

 

 **Craig** : ah he'll get over it babe

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : yea don't worry about him tweeks

 **It's Token, ffs!** : he's big and ugly enough to deal with it

 

 **Craig** : haha literally

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : brb some1 is at the door 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : oh shit its clyde

 

 **Craig** : wtf is he doing there?

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : crying

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: see i told you. now u gonna have to deal with him

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : why me?! this is craigs fault

 

 **Craig** : well tell him to go cry to his mommy. oh wait no, he killed her

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: craig, that wasnt funny at all. come on!

 

 **Craig** : i'll come on you ;-) with great pleasure

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: and that is a horrible pun

 

**[It's Token, ffs! has renamed Craig to Evil prick]**

 

 **Evil prick:** now that's just evil

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: that's a bit excessive

 

 **Evil prick** : wtf i cant change it tokey what did you do

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : payback mf 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : im gonna have to soothe clyde for idk how long no thanks to u

 

 **Evil prick** : he is such a baby. just tell him to grow up or fuck off

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : i cant just leave him like this. and i wont either. cause im not an evil prick like u

 

 **Evil prick** : you may as well be his new mom. be careful so he doesnt get u killed too

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : Tweekers, please make sure to fuck Craigs brains out, maybe then he will be sufferable for a while again.

 

**[It's Token, ffs! has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros] **

 

 **Evil prick:** so i guess im stuck with this name for now

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: maybe try to log off and on again

 

 **Evil prick** : okay

 

**[Evil prick has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros] **

 

...

 

**[Craig has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros] **

 

 **Craig** : nice, it worked. thx honey

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: sure but Craig, dont be so mean to Clyde

 

 **Craig** : oh not you as well Tweek

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: Clyde is a sensitive guy Craig, you should lay off him sometimes. just sayin

 

 **Craig** : ah Tweekers, you're such a sweetheart <3

 

 **Tweekers <3: ** you love it

 

 **Craig:** cant argue with that

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: oh

 

 **Craig** : what?

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: customers.

 

 **Craig** : at this hour?! tell them to gtfo

 

 **Tweekers <3 **: good thing youre not in this business. remind me not to ever let u work here

 

 **Craig** : :-p jk. ill have u know id be an awesome barista!

 

 **Tweekers <3: ** oh, suure :). Craig i have to go. love u. see u tonight

 

 **Craig:** love you too babe

 

 


	2. Cray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clyde the fixer

**[Craig has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** sup Craigy

 

**LadiesManClyde** : Craigy, my boy!

 

**Craig:** hey guys

 

**Tweekers <3**: my love

 

**Craig** : babe <3

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : damn! i was right, wasn't i?

 

**Craig** : about what?

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : well you come here I call you craigy, clyde says 'Craigy my boy' and you reply 'hey guys'. not 'go fuck yourselves' or something like that

 

**Craig** : im missing your point,  _Tokey_

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : Craig, youre not being a dick and thats amazing! thats my point

 

**Craig:**  im never being a dick

 

**LadiesManClyde** : no u totally are, especially to me

 

**It's Token, ffs**!: but not right now and i know why that is

 

**Craig** : why

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : because you got laid yesterday.

**It's Token, ffs!** : i was right, youre way more tolerable after you got laid

 

**LadiesManClyde** : yea youre probably still so satisfied and euphoric and tired from it to even think about being a dick 

 

**Craig** : ...

 

**LadiesManClyde** : i rest my case

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : who are you and what did you do with the real craig?

 

**Craig** : its me dudes wtf

 

**LadiesManClyde** :tweek what did you do with craig to make him so mellow. im too starting to worry its not really him

 

**Tweekers <3**: clyde, iirc, yesterday you said sth like 'i dont think i need to know all the details'

**Tweekers <3**: i wouldnt tell anyway

 

**Craig:** that's why i love you baby

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : awwwww you guys are too cute

 

**LadiesManClyde** : ikr

 

**Craig** : ╭∩╮( ͡° ل͟ ͡° )╭∩╮

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : oh good, he is the real craig

 

**Craig** : bite me

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : no i think ill leave that to your bf  **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 

...

 

**Tweekers <3**: oH JESUS NO!

 

**Craig** : tweek, what is going on

 

**Tweekers <3**: TOO MUCH PRESSURE IN THE ESPRESSO MACHINE 

 

**Craig** : tweek, relax, deep breaths, now focus and try to fix it

 

**Tweekers <3**: I TRIED IT WONT WORK GAAH WHAT IF I FUCKED IT UP TOTALLY

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : Tweek im sure its not that bad

 

**Craig** : tweek, try to calm down, okay? its not the end of the world

 

**Tweekers <3**: BUT WHAT IF I CANT GET IT TO START WORKING WHAT IF EVERYONE WHO COMES IN TODAY WANTS ESPRESSO WE WILL LOSE ALL CUSTOMERS AND GO BANKRUPT AND BE HOMELESS MY PARENTS WILL SELL ME TO SLAVERY

**Tweekers <3**: I DONT WANT TO BE A SLAVE

 

**LadiesManClyde:** craig your approach isnt working

 

**Craig** : you stay out of it

**Craig** : TWEEK, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

 

**Tweekers <3**: I DONT KNOW! I guess I ... have to keep trying to fix it

 

**Craig** : but WHAT IF you fail!

 

**Tweekers <3**: I... IM GONNA HAVE TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT

**Tweekers <3**: THIS IS LITERALLY TOO MUCH PRESSURE

**Tweekers <3: **BUT.. if i freak out it wont help anything

**Tweekers <3**: maybe it wont be so bad

 

**Craig** : :)

 

**Craig** : that's my Tweek

 

**Tweekers <3**: :)

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : aww, everything is ok again

 

**LadiesManClyde** : you 2 are so cute its almost scary

 

**Tweekers <3**: well not everything is ok the espresso machine is still broken

 

**LadiesManClyde** : well tweek i got an idea

 

**Craig** : oh fuck no

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : run for your life

 

**LadiesManClyde** : why dont i come by your shop and fix it for u ;)

 

**Craig** : NO!!!!

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : NO!!!!

 

**Tweekers <3**: oh... it's okay clyde, you really dont have to...

**Tweekers <3**: its probably not that bad. im sure i can do it myself, dont be bothered

**Tweekers <3**: im sure you have better things to do

 

**LadiesManClyde** : aww dont worry about me tweek its no bother. i wanted to come round anyway for a latte or sth

**LadiesManClyde** : so ill help u fix it

 

**Craig** : tweek i urge you dont let clyde anywhere near any of the machines unless you want to buy new ones

 

**LadiesManClyde** : tweek dont worry im great at fixing stuff

 

**Craig** : like when you tried to fix a broken wire (ONE THAT YOU BROKE YOURSELF!) on Stripes cage and the whole thing fell apart afterwards?

 

**LadiesManClyde** : tweek it wasnt like that he's exaggerating

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : he's not exaggerating

 

**Craig** : im not exaggerating

 

**Tweekers <3**: guys i need to focus on work

 

**LadiesManClyde** : sod off both of you

**LadiesManClyde** : youre both just jealous of my superior skills

 

**[Tweekers <3 has left Tweek, Tweek's bf and Tweek's bros]**

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : nobody ever says sod off

 

**Craig** : my beloved pet almost ran away thanks to your superios skills

 

**LadiesManClyde** : ill prove to you i can fix anything

 

**Craig** : you couldnt fix a football game if you were the referee

 

**LadiesManClyde** : bullshit

**LadiesManClyde** : if i wanted i could totally be like that fixer guy from that drama on Showtime, ray donovan

 

**[LadiesManClyde has changed his name to CRay Donovan]**

 

**Craig** : oh yea you and him have so much in common

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : like surename

 

**Craig** : though i think i saw that show a few times and i think Ray is taller than clyde

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : and stronger

 

**Craig** : and he is not as fat

 

**CRay Donovan** : im noT FAT!

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : and hes not as dumb

 

**CRay Donovan** : IM NOT DUMB!

 

**Craig** : and he aint a crybaby like clyde

 

**[It's Token, ffs! has renamed CRay Donovan to CRyBaby Donovan]**

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : and he can actually get things done

 

**Craig** : except killing own moms clyde is better at that

 

**CRyBaby Donovan** : why are u being mean to me again :'( its not fair

 

**Craig** : because its fun

 

**[CRyBaby** **Donovan has changed his name to Fuck you guys i hate you all :'((, except for tweek i still love you]**

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : there should be a limit to name length

 

**Craig** : so immature 

 

**Fuck you guys i hate you all :'((, except for tweek i still love you** : no YOU TWO ARE IMMATURE IM LEAVING IM GOING TO SEE TWEEK AT LEAST HE WONT MAKE FUN OF ME

 

**[Fuck you guys i hate you all :'((, except for tweek i still love you has left Tweek, Tweek's bf and Tweek's bros]**

 

**Craig:** Tweek please watch out for clyde

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : hes not here he left

 

**Craig** : when did that happen?

**Craig** : i better call him

 

...

 

"Tweek!" the teen cried out to the blond barista, making patrons turn their heads.

 

"Clyde? W-what is the matter?"

 

"Oh Tweek," Clyde sobbed as he buried his head in Tweek's neck and tried get all the bad things off his chest, hindered by his whimpers. "Those assholes... they -hic-... done it again... why is *SOB* Craig... so mean to me... and now Token - too."

 

"Shh," Tweek patted his back. "I'm sure they didn't mean it. They were just having a laugh."

 

Tweek looked around the shop and saw how much attention they have attracted. Weeping teenagers weren't good for business. There weren't that many customers there at the moment, luckilly.

 

"Mindy, can you take over for a while? I need to take my break."

 

"Sure Tweek."

 

"Thanks, you're golden." He smiled at her and she returned the smile with a wink. She was probably getting the wrong idea. Tweek would have to clarify later. 

 

"Come on. Through here." Tweek led him to the staff break room where he sat him down on a sofa  before he dashed off for a second to make Clyde a tall vanilla latte.

 

Tweek sat beside him and put the cup with the hot drink and a plate with a cinnamon roll (Clyde's absolute favourite) on a table in front of him. "Now tell me what have they said to you."

 

...

 

"That was your boyfriend?"

 

Mindy, the newest member of Tweek Bros coffehouse staff, has watched with puzzled expression as Tweek led a somewhat less distraught looking Clyde out the café and ruffled his hair before parting. Clyde squeezed him in a hug that may have cracked a few of Tweek's ribs and repeated how much of a good guy and sweetheart Tweek was. Once Tweek returned to his post behind the counter, she asked him the question that was one her lips since Clyde burst in the shop and demanded Tweek's attention.

 

"No, that's my friend Clyde, this is my boyfriend, Craig, the one with black hair." Tweek showed her a picture of their group. "And this is Token, my other friend. He and Craig made fun of Clyde in a kind of inappropriate way and, he's, well, more delicate than others."

 

"Oh. Why would they do that, he looks like a such a sweet guy."

 

"Yea, that's the problem, too sweet for his own good." Tweek sighed. "I'm gonna have to talk to them."

 

...

 

**[Tweekers <3 has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf and Tweek's bros]**

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : Tweek! did you manage to fix the espresso?

 

**Tweekers <3**: luckily yea but thats not important rn

**Tweekers <3**: guess who just came in 20 minutes ago

 

**Craig** : you didnt let him try and 'repair' anything, right?

 

**Tweekers <3**: no he wasnt in the state to repair anything.

**Tweekers <3**: in fact i had to repair him the damage u2 caused he was on the verge of tears when he came in and when he saw me he threw himself on me and started full on crying and made a scene in front of the customers ah god it was so embarrassing

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : he just wants attention

 

**Tweekers <3**: everyone wants attention sometimes token i wanted attention when my parents neglected me you dont have to hate him for it

 

**Craig** : tweek we like clyde he's just fun to mess with

 

**Tweekers <3**: craig im serious youre crossing a line okay his mom is dead and he feels guilty about it and then u go and make jokes about it youre being cruel for no reason

 

**It's Token, ffs!** : Tweek, clyde needs to harden up 

 

**Tweekers <3**: we don't need two craigs in our group

 

**Craig** : no

 

**Tweekers <3**: i wouldnt like it if some1 made fun of my anxty u wouldnt like that either craig and its exactly the same with clyde so please cut him some slack

**Tweekers <3**: Thats all

 

**[Tweekers <3 has left Tweek, Tweek's bf and Tweek's bros]**

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** um

 

**Craig** : damn

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** i feel kinda shitty

 

**Craig** : me too

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** i guess we did go too far

 

**Craig** : we should probably apologize to clyde

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** wtf

 

**Craig** : well, we should!

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** i dont disagree but, dude, are you really not an impostor? when do u ever feel the need to apologize for anything?!

 

**Craig** : ╭∩╮( ͡° ل͟ ͡° )╭∩╮

**Craig** : tweek is right about clyde

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** ooh i get it now, do anything for tweek ;) thats so sweet craig how whipped u are

 

**Craig** : goddamnit im my own person my relationship with tweek doesnt define me

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** im just kidding. i agree tweek is right.

**It's Token, ffs!** : he's very mature actually

**It's Token, ffs!:** you did change though. a bit.

**It's Token, ffs!:** but its for the better

 

**Craig** : if you say so

 

**It's Token, ffs!:** just be careful not to go too far the other way. we dont need two craigs in our group, but we dont need two clydes either

 

**Craig** : now that would be horrible

 

...

 

Clyde went down to answer the door, and when he opened the door and saw the two unwelcome figures standing outside, he had half the mind to slam the door in their faces. 

He scowled at them and asked them what the fuck did they want here in a harsh tone.

 

"Clyde, we are sorry for what we said to you. We came here to apologize." Craig tried to be as sincere as he could and Token nodded in agreement.

 

"Did Tweek make you do this? What did he say? 'Apologize to Clyde or else there will be no sex?'" Clyde refused to buy it.

 

"Dude. What the fuck! Who the hell do you think Tweek is? He would never sink that low to use sex as a leverage." Craig was almost ready to lash out at Clyde for this accusation, but Token held Craig back and stepped in.

 

"Clyde, it's not like that, we are legit trying to say we are sorry. We shouldn't have messed with you. Tweek just made us realize we were wrong. Right Craig?"

 

Craig's jaw still shook from the harsh words from Clyde. Maybe that's how Clyde felt too.

 

"Clyde, I... I'm sorry buddy. Can you forgive me?"

 

Clyde's resolve to tell them both to go fuck themselves wavered. He gave in eventually and hugged Craig tightly. Token joined in.

 

"Swear you won't ever make fun of how I... how my mom..." Clyde was unable to get the words out coherently and broke down in sobs again.

 

"I promise Clyde."

 

"That's so sweet you two." Token noted with a smirk as Clyde wiped his tears and Craig patter his shoulder. "Be careful Craig, you know what I told you."

 

Craig punched his shoulder.

 

"Whatever, asshole."

 

"You guys wanna come in for some games? I have the new Forza Motorsport 7."

 

"NO WAY!" Token said in disbelief.

 

"It literally came out few days ago!"

 

"Yea, I had it pre-ordered."

 

"Well what the fuck are we waiting for! I'll call Tweek to come over when his shift is over."

 

"Sure."

 

"Can we sleep over? It's saturday."

 

"Only if you two promise not to have sex on the sofa."

 

"It'll be tough, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice."

 


	3. In flagrante delicto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig are not responding. Clyde becomes worried about his friends and sets off on a recsue mission before Token can stop him.

In the end, Craig and Tweek decided the best option would be not to sleep over at Clyde's house but to go to Craig's.

It promised more fun.

 

...

 

Craig woke up spooned by Tweek, who was still sound asleep. He tried to slip out of his tight embrace as carefully as possible, in order not to deprive the blonde of his much needed sleep, but the muffled groan let him know he was not successfull. 

 

"Good morning beautiful." Craig turned around and kissed his waking boyfriend lovingly. Tweek was still squinting, but he smiled at him and pulled Craig back close.

 

"Morning love. Where you off to?"

 

"Erm. Bathroom. Aand, kitchen, to make breakfast for us, when we get up?"

 

"We're not getting up today." Tweek said resolutely. He crawled on top of Craig and dipped his head down to kiss him. "I want to stay in bed and snuggle and cuddle _all day_."

 

Craig widened his eyes at his grinning boyfriend who was not letting him get up. In fact, he wrapped himself and their blanket around Craig so tight, he could barely move.

 

"That could be a problem because I need to pee."

 

"You'll have to hold it, sexy." Tweek giggled and kept his weight on Craig while giving him light pecks all over his face. 

 

Craig was becoming more alarmed by the second, becuase Tweek didn't seem like letting him up any time soon.

 

"Tweek, this is serious!" 

 

Tweek giggled again and much to Craig's horror, started tickling his sides.

 

"TWEEK! JESUS CHRIST, WHAT - AAAAAAAGGGHHH! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

 

"But it so is!" Tweek laughed unrelentingly and carried on with his tickle onslaught.

 

"TWEEK, seriously STOP now or else I'll piss myself!"

 

Tweek groaned and reluctantly untangled himself and the blanket from Craig. But before he let him go, he extended his arm, still laying down on the bend and took Craig's hand in his. Craig was stopped mid-way with his arm outstretched and turned around to look at Tweek.

 

"Tweek, come on babe."

 

"You'll be back soon right?" Tweek asked with a gleam in his eyes and amused smirk on his lips.

 

"Like hell I'll get back in bed with you again after _that_." Craig said jokingly and stuck out his tongue at him.

 

"Awwwwww! You don't know what you're missing!"

 

...

 

After a while of waiting for Craig to come back to bad and snuggle with Tweek, he realized he probably wasn't going to, so instead he went to take a shower and brush, and then went downstairs where he found Craig at the table with many breakfast items, including but not limited to bacon, eggs, sausages, toasts, pancakes, maple syrup, orange juice, and the most important one, a pot of steaming hot coffee.

 

Tweek sneaked behind him and surprised Craig by snaking his arm around his abdomen and pressing a kiss on his nape. Or he thought he'd surprise him, however Craig heard him coming from a mile off. Craig giggled at the feeling and tried to get Tweek to sit down.

 

"Jesus Christ dude, there's everything here!" Tweek exclaimed at the sight of the feast. "Did you forget I'm not Clyde? Hell, this would be enough even for Cartman!"

 

"How could I even think that." Craig smirked and ruffled Tweek's hair. "You need to get some calories back after that amazing performance last night."

 

Tweek giggled and blinked seductively at Craig.

 

"Hey... since you couldn't be persuaded into cuddling... you want a repeat of last night later?"

 

"How could I not!"

 

...

 

**[LadiesManClyde has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : dude, toke, where are tweek and craig?!

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : tf should I know

 **It's Token, ffs!** : u heard of this thing called texting, or phone call?

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : i tried to text and call them but they are not asnwring!

 **LadiesManClyde** : what if something bad happened to them? WHAT IF THEY DIED!

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : dude stop being Tweek, im sure they alright

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : no im sure tweek would never ignore me something sinister must b goin down

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : you dont even know what sinnister means

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : im gonna go check craigs house thats where they went last!

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : no clyde wait!!!! there is a possibility why tweek would ignore you, it would probably mean he and craig are

 

**[LadiesManClyde has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : fucking ...

 

...

 

Clyde closed the distance between his home and Tucker residence in as little time as his chubby body would allow him, but his condition was irrelevant now compared to the condition he was certain Tweek and Craig were now in. He would save their lives and be a hero in their book forever, Craig would be in his debt and therefore the days of Craig making fun of him would be over, and that was so worth the exhaustion.

 

He dashed towards the front door immediately and grabbed the door handle, but it was locked.

 

He would not give up, however, to prove he was a true, selfless friend. He rounded the house and tried the sliding patio door. To his luck, it was unlocked and he was able to get in. He realized suddenly that unknown dangers may await him inside and it was for the best to keep as quiet as possible. If there was an intruder, one that had something to do with Craig and Tweek's radio silence, in here, he would use the moment of surprise to his advantage.

 

Clyde tippy toed across the living room into the kitchen, where he found a plenty of letfovers from brealfast. He touched the coffee pot which was still lukewarm, there was a plate with five pancakes left, three strips of bacon, three egss over easy, half a bowl of cereal, three quarters of jug of orantge juice and two half-eaten toasts. Clearly someone left in a hurry! As far as Clyde thought, noone in their right mind would leave such a plethora of delicacies behind, unless there was something serious going on!

 

He turned around and almost gasped in horror when he saw it. There were pieces of clothing, some of them torn, thrown around the place. This was worse than he thought. His heart was beating rapidly as he ascended the stairs, following the trail of various pieces of cloting laying around. 

 

What horror could possibly have happened?

 

Finally Clyde stood next to what he knew were the door to Craig's room. He held his breath and placed his ear against the keyhole. What he heard confirmed his worst fears. He heard whimpering, and he could tell, it was  _Tweek's voice_ _!_ His worst fears were confirmed. Someone must have been torturing him, there was no other way!

 

No time for knocking, Clyde grabbed a vase that he would use as a weapon and stormed in.

 

"GAH!!!!" Tweek's signature shriek echoed the room as the unwelcome guest that was Clyde burst in and caught them in the act.

 

Clyde froze in shock and dropped the vase, which fell on the floor with a thud and luckily didn't break, when he realized his catastrophic mistake that led to him being presented with a terrifying view; one that would forever be burned into his retina and remain in his head for the rest of his life. A view of Craig lying down on his bed, completely nude, and Tweek nude as well, propped up with his arms and legs above him in a crab-like position, with a strange facial expression, as if contorted with pain.

 

Tweek hastilly reached for a blanket to cover their bodies, but not quick enough to cover them before Clyde's eyes involuntarily shifted to the nether parts he didn't want to see.

 

"Clyde, you idiot! What the fuck are you doing here!" Craig shouted at him from underneath Tweek as loud as his weight resting on his ribs, squeezing his lungs, now would allow him.

 

"I... I tought... you I... I t-tried..." Clyde tried feebly to explain, but the words have failed him. "I heard whimpering ... I though someone was hurting you Tweek and... _what is Craig even doing_?!"

 

"He's fucking me, what's it look like he's doing!? Now get the fuck out of here!" Tweek told Clyde off and for a good measure, he grabbed a sex toy from the nightstand and threw it at the shell-shocked Clyde, nearly hitting him square in his forehead if Clyde hasn't covered his face with his hands and high-tailed the scene as fast as he could.

 

Tweek sighed and rolled off his boyfriend, finally letting him take in a good deep breath.

 

"That fucking idiot! That stupid moron! What the fuck was he thinking! I'll fucking kick his fat ass."

 

"I don't know! He'll have some explaining to do!" Tweek shook his head in disbelief. "I love Clyde and all, but this... I'll kick his ass too unless he comes up with a good explanation."

 

Tweek turned his head towards Craig and a small smile played on his lips.

 

"You still hard babe?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Good." Tweek kissed Craig. "Finish me off please? Let's not let Clyde ruin our good time."

 

...

 

Clyde nearly fell over three times on his way down the stairs. His hands and knees were shaking and he was glad he could sit down when he made it down the kitchen. He took a seat at the table and looked around.

_Best to overcome the shock of what he just saw with food. Lots of it._

 

_..._

 

Tweek and Craig later came downstairs, where they saw Clyde stuffing his face with last bits of cereal, having finished everything else, even the bitten-into toasts, while staring blankly at the wall.

 

He barely registered Tweek and Craig flanking him at the table, clearly looking pissed with him and like they were waiting for some answers. Clyde dranks a glass of juice in one go, looked at Tweek, shifted his sight from him to Craig and back and forth.

 

"So, mind explaining why did you think it was fine to walk in on us having sex?" Tweek spat at Clyde.

 

"Ummm..."

 

"And eat almost all of our breakfast?" Craig added, though he cared a lot less about that part of Clyde's wrongdoing.

 

"We're still waiting asshole!" Craig threatened. "We'll kick your ass unless you start talking in three, two, one..."

 

"Okay okay! I tried calling you and texting you because I wanted to hang out and you weren't responding and I thought something had happened to you so came here to see if you're okay and I saw unfinished food and torn clothes everywhere and then I heard moaning from your room and..." Clyde reeled off and gradaully realized how stupid he have been, "... and I guess I jump to wrong conclusion. Please don't hurt me you guys!" Clyde looked up at them with tearful eyes.

 

"You bet you ass we..." Craig started but Tweek stopped him mid sentence.

 

"We won't, Clyde, but don't do this shit again. Gah!, I wanted to have a nice relaxing day spent with Craig and you have to come here and spoil it."

 

"I'm sorry you guys! I swear I wont - I just wanted to hang out with you guys! I was worried about you when you didn't respond!"

 

"Jesus Christ, Clyde, why would you immediately think of the worst case scenario? That's Tweek's style. You're worse than him sometimes Clyde!"

 

"Hey!"

 

Okay, Tweek tought that was actually very sweet of Clyde, but it didn't change the fact that he acted like an idiot. But then, that was Clyde's usual MO anyways.

 

...

 

**[Tweekers <3 has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**[Craig has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : before you two start ill have you know i tried to stop clyde from looking after you since i figured you two were probably ... well, you know

 

 **Craig** : i know ure not as retarded as clyde

 

**[LadiesManClyde has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** :  speak of the devil. so what did he do

 

 **Tweekers <3**: he walked in on us at the worst possible moment

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : clyde ... i cant believe you sometimes ... what were you thinking ?! think about how they feel now! how would you feel like if someone walked in on you like that?!

 **It's Token, ffs!** : if youre capable of thought that is

 

 **LadiesManClyde** : how they feel?! why is nobody thinking about how I FEEL!? I will be scarred for life with what i saw!

 

 **Craig** : serves you right

 

 **Tweekers <3**: normally id defend you clyde, but this time..

 

**[It's Token, ffs! renamed LadiesManClyde to CockBlockClyde]**

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : :'( tweek doesnt love me anymore

 

 **Tweekers <3**: relax clyde i still love you

 

 **Craig** : ehm hm...

 

 **Tweekers <3**: as a friend only of course

 

 **It's Token, ffs** : what did you see

 **It's Token, ffs** : wait no dont answer that I dont wanna know 

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : thank you so much tweek you are my best friend i love you idk what id do without you stuck just with these two assholes of friends always being mean to me pls dont ever leave me

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : what...?

 

 **Craig** : tf?!

 

 **Tweekers <3**: okay okay clyde, save your tears im not going anywhere

 **Tweekers <3**: just next time think twice before doing something stupid bcs if you walk in on us like that again there suddendly may be 3 of your friends being mean to you instead of just 2

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : dont worry tweeky you have my word

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : in that case id start locking myself from now on if i were you guys bcs he'll defo walk in on you again

 

 **Co** **ckBlockClyde** : what how can you even say that?!

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : because clyde if you were thinking twice before doing something stupid you would, well

 **It's Token, ffs!** : you'd not be clyde. that would like contradict some law of physics or sth

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : there u go again being mean to me

 **CockBlockClyde** : while im still trying to recover from what i witnessed

 **CockBlockClyde** : how does it even feel tweek

 

 **Tweekers <3**: huh?

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : u know, how does it even feel when craig does ... _that_

 

 **Tweekers <3**: OMFG CLYDE HOW AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT

 

 **Craig** : dont answer him tweek

 **Craig** : if you wanna know clyde, keep running that big mouth of yours and ill come over with that large black dildo tweek threw at you this morning and give you a very clear demonstration of what it might feel like

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : tmi dude.. large black dildo.. the less I know the better 

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : but if tweek likes it, it cant be too bad right?

 

 **Tweekers <3**: just so u know its not just me out of us two who likes it..

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : TMI!!! fuckin hell

 

 **Craig** : but i love tweek whereas i hate you clyde so there might be a difference in my approach, which will negativelly affect what you feel

 

 **Tweekers <3**: guys can we stop talking about this?

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : good idea!

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : but guys im still not mentally okay after this morning i need some closure!

 

 **Craig** : you were not mentally okay to begin with

 **Craig** : and if you need closure just close your fuckin trap

 

 **CockBlockClyde** : so wait tweek what you're saying is craig likes too it when you fuck him in the ass?

 

 **Craig** : oh great, tweek thx for brining that up babe 

 

 **Tweekers <3**: my pleasure ;) 

  

 **CockBlockClyde** : wow craig

 

 **It's Token, ffs!** : ... 

 

 **Craig** : clyde.

 

 **CockBlockClyde:** yes craigy?

 

 **Craig** : think about the large black dildo

 

 ** **CockBlockClyde**** : okay okay im quiet!

 

**[It's Token, ffs! has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 


	4. Kyan Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Kyle come up with a fun idea and Craig doens't like it very much

**LadiesManClyde:** hey craigy, tokey

**Craig:**  will you stop that shit already?

 

**[It's Token, ffs! has renamed Craig to Craigy]**

**[It's Token, ffs! has changed his name to Tokey]**

 

**Tokey:** haha :)

 

**LadiesManClyde:** thx tokey ;)

 

**Craigy:** really now? not you as well

 

**LadiesManClyde:** aww craigy have some sense of humor will ya? at least token isnt a grumpy old shit like u

 

**[Tokey has renamed LadiesManClyde to Fatass#2]**

 

**Fatass#2:** wtf, why did u rename me to that now??!

 

**Tokey:** well cartman still takes spot #1 in fatness, so you get  #2

 

**Fatass#2:**  thats not what i meant im not fat at all u bitches!

 

**[Butterscotch has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

**Butterscotch:** hiya fellas

 

**Tokey** : hey butters

 

**Craigy** : hey

**Fatass#2:** heeey butters my lil' fella how r you

**Fatass#2:** im clyde btw, its just token changed my nickame and i cant change it back somehow 

 

**Butterscotch:** oh, thats ok i figured that dont worry clyde

 

**Fatass#2:** wtf how?

 

**Butterscotch:** um, its not likely eric would be here, and youre the only other fella i know who has kind of a chunky tummy

 

**Fatass#2:**... ** >**:'(

 

**Tokey:** lmao

 

**Craigy: asdfdh!!3%#UI*)**

 

**Butterscotch:** gee wiz, are you ok; craig?

 

**Craigy:** okay butters im fine :D

**Craigy:** just warn me next time i almost choked laughing

**Fatass#2:** choke on tweeks dick fucker!

 

**Tokey:** anyway butters what brings you here?

**Butterscotch:** ah well, stan and kyle said they have an offer for craig and tweek and told me to come here and tell you fellas

 

**Craigy:** butters you should have told them to fuck off. theyre just using you

 

**Butterscotch:** oh hamburgers 

 

**Craigy:** they know id tell them to shove it up where the sun dont shine

 

**Fatass#2** : you're expert at that

**Fatass#2** : shoving it up where the sun dont shine i mean

 

**Butterscotch:** well they said i could convince you fellas

 

**Fatass#2:** haha fat chance trying to convince craig

 

**Craigy:**  almost as fat as you

 

**Fatass#2:** die in hell craig

**Butterscotch:** golly craig dont be so mean, clyde is a nice fella so who cares if he has a few pounds extra?

 

**Tokey:** ah butters youre as adorable as you are naive 

**Fatass#2:** yea craig dont be so mean.

**Fatass#2:** butters ily now youre my new bff

 

**Butterscotch:** gee clyde, i love you too

**Craigy:** aww so cute you 2 gonna get married now?

 

**Butterscotch:** well i cant,

**Butterscotch:** my dad said, if you marry an overweight guy, well youre grounded mister

 

**Craigy:** hahaha omg !

 

**Tokey:** aaaaa xD

 

**Fatass#2:** that hurts my feelings

 

**[PrincessKenny has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**PrincessKenny:** mmmpheym hmhuys

 

**Butterscotch:** hi Ken 

**PrincessKenny:** mmhummhemmhump <3

 

**Tokey:** wtf are you doing kenny?

**PrincessKenny:** mnomphehihnh pheemhp mho mhmeh mhih mhy mphomhe

 

**Craigy:** yeah right like you could afford a phone that converts speech to text

**[Style Broflosh has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Craigy:** that's the gayest name ive ever seen, and thats saying something since PrincessKenny is here

 

**= Craigy has called a vote: Rename PrincessKenny to PrincesslutKenny =**

**= Subject (PrincessKenny) may not vote =**

 

**= Tokey has voted YES =**

 

**= Fatass#2 has voted YES =**

 

**= Butterschotch has voted YES =**

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** et tu, Butters? 

 

**= **Style Broflosh** has voted YES =**

 

**= Voting has PASSED =**

 

**[Voting System has renamed **PrincessKenny**  to **PrincesslutKenny** ]**

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**[Kyan Marlovski has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Craigy:**  your names are stupid i can still tell which one of you is who

**Craigy:** what do you two gaywads want here anyway? 

 

**Fatass#2:** youre one to talk craig. how long since you sucked tweeks dick last huh, twelve minutes?

 

**Style Broflosh:** what a nice friendly welcome

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** no less than one would expect from such a lovely person that is craig

 

**Craigy:** fucking great now only cartman is missing to make the douchesquad complete

 

**[Beefcake has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Craigy:**...

**Tokey:** called it

 

**Beefcake** **:** lol whos the genius that gave clahd that name? creg was that you?

 

**Fatass#2:** its clyde not clahd 

**Fatass#2:** and how the hell do you know its me?!

 

**Beefcake** **:** cuz your the fat one duh

**Beefcake** **:** tho whats with the #2 it should be #1 gotta fix that creg

 

**Craigy:** actually it was token who named him like that

 

**Beefcake** **:** no way a black guy actually doing good job 

 

**Tokey:** cartman last fucking warning before youre banned

 

**Beefcake** **:**  when was the first fucking warning?

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** mmphha mmphha mmphha 

 

**Beefcake** **:**  shut up kinny

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** mmpheehehe

 

**Craigy:** knock it off asshole

**Craigy:** oh and the fatass#1 name was reserved for you cartman btw

 

**[Tokey has renamed Beefcake to Fatass#1]**

 

**Fatass#1:** screw u token u black asshole im not fat im buff

 

**Craigy:** why isnt cartman already banned?

 

**[Tokey has permanently banned Fatass#1 from Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** thank you Token

 

**Style Broflosh:** he wouldnt stop spamming about jews in our room thats why we came here instead of inviting craig and tweek to ours

 

**Craigy:** before you two start im not intersted in participating in another great idea you two came up with

 

**Style Broflosh:** you didnt even hear it yet 

 

**Craigy:** dont need to hear it to know its something incredibly dumb

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** youre such a grampa

 

**Craigy:** im not a grampa!!!

 

**Fatass#2:** yea you are, youre a grumpy old fart never interested in anything fununless its about guinea pigs or red racer or space in which case youre just a dork

**Fatass#2:** or somethign to do with ur bf which id rather not get into after what i saw..

 

**Tokey:**...

 

**Style Broflosh:** 0.o what did you see?!

 

**Craigy:** nothing special clydes just jelly cause he cant get laid

 

**Fatass#2:** bullshit just so u know i asked bebe out and she said yes so its only a matter of time

 

**Craigy:** bets on how long they last! my $30 says two weeks. closest guess wins everything

 

**Tokey:**  three weeks 

 

**Style Broflosh:** one month

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** six weeks

 

**Fatass#2** : fuckers.

**Fatass#2** : wait, if it lasts more than six weeks i collect all the money!

**Fatass#2** : so you may as well hand them over rn

 

**Craigy** : no if you dont bet you get nothing. 

 

**Fatass#2** : thats not fair'

 

**Craigy** : deal with it

**Craigy** : butters?

 

**Butterschotch:** aw hamburgers. fellas i cant

 

**Fatass#2** : ha! at least butters knows me and bebe are legit

 

**Butterschotch:** umm well i would say two months but i cant make a bet because if i lose a bet my dad will ground me

 

**Fatass#2** : >:-(

 

**Craigy** : cmon butters have some balls

 

**Butterschotch:**  okay then, two months

 

**Craigy** : kenny?

 

**PrincesslutKenny** : sry dont have $30, only a tenner

 

**Craigy** : that's ok, if you win you only get ten from each of us. how long do you say?

 

**PrincesslutKenny** : five weeks

 

**Craigy** : super. give your money to our official bookmaker Token 

 

**Tokey** : why me?

 

**Craigy** : cause i said so

**Craigy** : and $160 is nothing to you so you wont nick it

 

**Tokey** : ..

 

**Style Broflosh:** guys can we get back on topic?

 

**Craigy** : no

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** aw cmon dont be such a grampa

 

**Craigy** : ok you got two minutes

 

**Style Broflosh:** great

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** so 

 

**Style Broflosh:** craig

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** you know that show wife swap right?

 

**Craigy** : i already dont like where this is going. if you think tweek and i are gonna agree on that youre seriously fucked up in the head

 

**Style Broflosh:** its gonna be fun, we just swap boyfriends for one week, do stuff like you normally do

 

**Craigy** : you seriously think one of you gets to have tweek for one week and im gonna be fine with that?! and like hell i want to put up with either of u for one week. i cant stand you for seven minutes let alone seven days

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** jeez relax craig

 

**Style Broflosh:** obviously we wouldnt be doing any M or R rated stuff like intimate touching over the week. just regular chilling and stuff

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** holding hands and a friendly kiss here and there at most

 

**Tokey:** guys tweek and craig wouldnt last two days without each other

 

**Fatass#2** : yea after one week their balls would be the color of a midnight sky

 

**Butterscotch** : i thought craig had his balls removed surgically in fourth grade?

 

**Tokey:**  oh yea i remember that

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** me too

 

**Style Broflosh:** yup. so blue balls it shouldnt be a problem for him

 

**Craigy:** t(-_-)t 

**Craigy:** all of you

 

**Fatass#2** : 0.o wtf u guys talking about?

 

**Butterscotch:** clyde youremember that showcraig made, animals close up with wide angle lens wearing hats?

 

**Fatass#2** : yea, it was super cute!

 

**Butterscotch:** well it turned out to be a complete fiasco and once he lost ratings, Mr. Meryll from AV class requested that he has his testicles removed surgically

 

**Fatass#2** : XD XD NO FUCKING WAY CRAIGS A EUNUCH OMG MY LIFE JUST GOT SO MUCH BETTER AHAHA

 

**Craigy:** stfu its not true!

**Craigy:** even if it was true id still have more balls than you clyde

 

**Style Broflosh:** balls or not, are you and tweek in? 

**Craigy:** no

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** come on dude! it will be fun

 

**Craigy:** even if i agreed, what do you think tweek would say about it?

 

**Tokey:**  THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!! would be my guess

 

**Craigy: **^** ^**

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** guys if craig and tweek arent interested leo and i wouldnt mind ;-)

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** no kenny!

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** awwh why?

 

**Style Broflosh:** because we already tried with you. and we clearly said NO INTIMATE TOUCHING 

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** and stillyou kept groping kyle's ass all week, and you tried to go even further than that

 

**Style Broflosh:** and stan had to listen all week about all the things butters couldnt do or he'd be grounded

 

**Craigy:** why are you talking about yourselves in third person?

 

**Style Broflosh:** we're not

 

**Tokey:** so Kyan is Stan and Style is Kyle?

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** no im Style 

 

**Style Broflosh:** and im Kyan

 

**Craigy:** gay

**Fatass#2:** like you?

 

**Craigy:** 10 times as much

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** guys how could i help it if kyle has such a great ass??

 

**Style Broflosh:** youre just too whorish kenny, sorry

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** awww :'(

 

**Style Broflosh:** even tho i have to agree kyle has a sweet ass

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** yep i do

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** I meant yea he does!!

 

**Craigy:** haha busted.

**Craigy:** you can stop it with the dumb names now

 

**Style Broflosh:** goddamnit kyle what the fuck!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** well im SOOO sorry! like YOU never make any mistakes!

 

**Style Broflosh:** here we go again with your overreacting. just like your mother

**Style Broflosh:** at least i dont fuck up such simple things

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** it doesnt even matter!

**Kyan Marlovski:** and leave my mom out of this

 

**Tokey:** tbh i wouldnt want kyles mom for a mother in law

 

**Craigy:** i could tell who you were anyway by your writing style

 

**Fatass#2:** lmao

 

**Craigy:**  what?

 

**Fatass#2:** "by your writing style"

 

**Craigy:**  oh yea lol

 

**Style Broflosh:** shut up craig

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** yea shut up

 

**Style Broflosh:** dude stay out of it ill handle this

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** you been drinking again Stan?! is that why are you being like this?

 

**Tokey:** this is some serious marriage counseling worthy shit right here

 

**[Tweekers <3 has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Style Broflosh:** why are you accusing me of that again?! you know i havent touched alcohol for a week!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** I havnet touched alcohol ever so why cant you do the same?

 

**Style Broflosh:** you cant because you have diabetes so thats totally different!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** my diabetes has nothing to do with you being alcoholic!!

 

**Tweekers <3: **GUYS WHAT IS GOING ON?!

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** the best showdown ever tweek, take your seat, want some popcorn?

 

**Style Broflosh:** im not an alcoholic!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** yes you are just like your stupid dad!

 

**Style Broflosh:** dont call my dad stupid!

 

**Craigy:**  well Tweek, apparently stans and kyles relationship is failing and they came up with the idea that we should swap boyfriends for a week, because they think they can save their marriage if they start to miss each other after few days or something. its a fucking stupid idea anyway

 

**Style Broflosh:** thats not true craig!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** yea we just wanted to do it for the fun

 

**Style Broflosh:** and were not even married

 

**Craigy:**  you argue like a married fifty year old couple

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** no we dont

**Kyan Marlovski:** tweek surely you would want try it right? its just for one week. come on, it will be fun! 

 

**Tweekers <3: **WHAT! no way, too much pressure, i cant do that i cant cheat on craig for one week! i cant cheat on craig at all, he would leave me!

 

**Craigy:**  i love you pumpkin <3

 

**Tweekers <3: **i love you too babe

 

**Style Broflosh:** tweek we wouldnt do any intimate stuff we would just be going out for one week holding hands at most

 

**Tweekers <3: **but how would you even decide who goes to who? would it be me with stan and kyle with craig? shit no that wouldnt work! me + kyle and craig + stan, gghhh no thats even worse!

 

**Style Broflosh:** well its supposed to be similar to the show wife swap so you obviously would be with me and craig with kyle

 

**Craigy:**  kyle may be your wife to you, but this is not how it works for me and tweek, just for the record

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** and thats another thing stan! im not your fucking wife! if you want that, go back to wendy! if she wants to be your beard again!

 

**Style Broflosh:**  dont start again kyle

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** oh wait you cant go back to wendy because you couldnt even get it up for her!

 

**Tokey:** this isnot even funny at this point

 

**Craigy** : speak for yourself im deeply enjoying this

 

**Style Broflosh:** what is your problem kyle?

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** what is my problem? how about that you treat me like your girlfriend, that is my problem! 

 

**Style Broflosh:** how the hell am i doing that?

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** oh i dont know, like with this wife swap shit where OBVIOUSLY id be the 'wife' again?

**Kyan Marlovski:**  or that you insist on never letting me top!?

**Kyan Marlovski:** and you wont even give me head

 

**Tweekers <3: **this is too much pressure

 

**Tokey:** more liketoo much information

 

**Craigy:**  its a good thing we arent like them

 

**Butterscotch:** awh fellas maybe you two should talk these things out in private?

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** SHUT UP BUTTERS!

 

**Style Broflosh:** SHUT UP BUTTERS!

 

**PrincesslutKenny** : DONT you two dare take your shit out on my Buttercup!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** just because i have a nice ass and you dont doesnt mean i have to take it every time!

 

**Style Broflosh:** we already talked about this like thousand times kyle

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** and you always have the same bullshit answer.

**Kyan Marlovski:** when its obvious whats your problem but you just dont want to admit it!

 

**Style Broflosh:** what are you talking about?!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** you dont want your stupid dad and your fucking closeted uncle to think of you as a sissy, so you try to make it seem like i am the 'girl' of us two!

 

**Style Broflosh:** no im not! and stop calling my dad stupid. and Jimbo isnt gay!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** why do you get so angry when i say hes gay? like you think its a bad thing or something you hypocrite

**Kyan Marlovski:** when its obvious he is

 

**Style Broflosh:** i never said its a bad thing, im just saying he isnt!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** oh of course not hes just never been married and hes been living with ned ever since they left 'nam!

 

**Style Broflosh:**  that doesnt prove anything!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** your uncle jimbo is about as deep in the closet as ned's cock is deep in his ass every time they've gone out "hunting" to their forest cabin!

 

**Style Broflosh:**  this is absurd

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** and you do this because you dont want to disappoint him even more, since the time he was disappointed with you being too much of a pussy to pull a fucking trigger and shoot a stupid rabbit  

 

**Style Broflosh:** im not.. thats not true!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** you took two years to come out to your family, and your mom even had to make the fist step and ask you ourright if we are more than best friends after she started becoming suspicious of our 'sleepovers'

 

**Style Broflosh:** why are you being like this!

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** Me? you started it!

 

**Craigy:** sorry to interrupt but i dont think your wife swap idea is going to save your relationship

 

**Style Broflosh:**  its not for that craig we just wanted to have fun its has nothing to do with saving our relationship, which is fine by the way

 

**Tweekers <3: **it doesnt look fine to me

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** oh and what would you know about it?

 

**Craigy:**  hmm what would tweek know, i guess nothing after being with me for almost nine years without us ever making a scene like you two are right now 

 

**Style Broflosh:**  wearenot making a scene craig, youre just being a dick again

 

**Craigy:**  im being a dick?

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** yes

 

**Style Broflosh:**  can we please go back to the uh, boyfriend swap thing?

 

**Kyan Marlovski:**  but im not going to be the 'wife'!

 

**Style Broflosh:** fine! so lets make it fair, we write our names on pieces of paper, throw them in a jar and have someone draw two couples

 

**Craigy:**  so that i may end up with you marsh? not happening

 

**Style Broflosh:** then lets do it like i suggested

 

**Tweekers <3: **lets not do it at. all i dont want to spend a whole week without craig anyway

 

**Craigy:**  you heard him. i too dont want to be separated from my tweekers<3

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** fucking hell, why do you two have to be so perfect, its fucking annoying!

 

**Style Broflosh:** yea, sick dude. lets go kyle, craig is clearly not interested in doing anything fun

 

**Kyan Marlovski:** yea what a dick

 

**[Kyan Marlovski has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Craigy:**  well im sure glad you two sorted out your differences, if you could do that in a different room next time and fuck off now, that would be great

 

**Style Broflosh:** go to hell craig

**Style Broflosh:** have fun getting nailed by tweek

 

**Craigy:**  dont worry i will

**Craigy:**  kyle is right you know, you should try that with him as well, its fucking awesome 

**Craigy:**  maybe it will make you less of a cynical asshole

 

**[Style Broflosh has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**PrincesslutKenny:**  that was fun

 

**Tweekers <3:** what the hell just happened?

 

**Craigy:** just forget about it babe

 

**Fatass#2:**  tweek, is it true that craigs had his balls cut off?

 

**Tweekers <3:** WHAT??!

**Tweekers <3:** OH MY GOD CRAIG WHEN HOW DID THAT HAPPEN DID YOU GET CANCEROHJESUSITOLDYOUNOTTOEATMICROWAVEFOOD DID IT HURT!? 

 

**Craigy:**  calm down tweek nothing happened to my balls. clydes just being dumb as usual

 

**Tweekers <3:** AH! thats a relief!

 

**Fatass#2:**  no im not! butters said that Mr. Meryll from AV class in elementary requested that craig be castrated because he made some show about animals with hats with wide angle lens and apparently it was a failure in the long run, so...

 

**Tweekers <3:** how could it be failure, everyone thought it was super cute!

 

**PrincesslutKenny:**  yeah!

 

**Tokey** : that's because everyone was high as kite on cough medicine

 

**Fatass#2:**  so is craig eunuch or not?!

 

**Tweekers <3:** NO OF COURSE NOT!

 

**Fatass#2:**  awwwh :(. and i thought i had something to get back at him for makin fun of me. nevermind...

 

**Tweekers <3: **dont be like that, you have Bebe now, and im happy for you

 

**Craigy:**  oh, Tweek, about that..

 

**Tokey:** how do you know?

 

**Tweekers <3: **they were on a date at our shop yesterday

 

**Craigy:**  we're betting up to $30 each on how long they stay together, whose bet was on longest time again?

 

**Tokey:** butters, two months

 

**Fatass#2:**  oh yea these fuckers are making a bet on MY RELATIONSHIP can you believe it tweek?

 

**Tokey:**  dont be such a crybaby clyde.

 

**Craigy** : yea come on its just a game

 

**Tweekers <3: **and how much is in the bank?

 

**Craigy:** $160 if my math is right

 

**Tweekers <3: **oh. well then i bet two months and two days.

 

**Fatass#2:**  wtf tweekers you too have such little faith in me?!? :'(

 

**Tweekers <3: **clyde, you better do your absolute best to stay with Bebe, in two months and two days when I win, we split the cash

 

**Tokey:**  damn!

 

**Butterscotch:**  golly

 

**PrincesslutKenny:** nice one tweek

 

**Fatass#2:**  cool, ill be $80 richer!

 

**Craigy:** no you wont

 

**Tweekers <3: **yea he will

 

**Craigy:** what makes you so sure honey?

 

**Tweekers <3: **because Bebe is my friend and i know she likes Clyde for real, she told me herself

 

**Craigy:** dude

**Craigy:** i am SO betrayed now!

 

**Fatass#2:** hmmmwhat should i spend your 80 bucks on

 

**Tweekers <3: **you should take bebe out on a nice date

 

**Fatass#2:**  ill do that. thanks tweek ;)

 

**[Fatass#2 has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Craigy:** i cant believe this

 

**Tweekers <3: **come on craig, its just a game ;). just be happy for clyde.

**Tweekers <3: **youre not mad  at me right?

 

**Craigy:** i could never be mad at you love 

 

**PrincesslutKenny:**  relationship goals

**PrincesslutKenny:**  tho i had no idea you guys are vers?

 

**Tweekers <3:** well duh

 

**Craigy:**  ofc we are otherwise it would get boring eventually

 

**Tokey:**  O.o

**Tokey:**  craig tucker, worried about something possibly becoming boring

 

**PrincesslutKenny:**  guys i just got a call from satan, he said the hell just froze over

 

**Craigy:**  oh, ho-ho-ho, very funny

 

**PrincesslutKenny:**  well my friends ill be leaving now, butters and i have something new to try

**PrincesslutKenny:**  i mean if youre interested Leo

 

**Butterscotch** : aw shucks of course Ken id love to try something new

 

**PrincesslutKenny:**  super! lets go now 

 

**[PrincesslutKenny has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**[Butterscotch has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Craigy:**  tweek?

 

**Tweekers <3:** yes hun?

 

**Craigy:**  im coming over i miss you

 

**Tweekers <3:** Ill be waiting :)

 

**[Tweekers <3 has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**[Craigy has left Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Tokey:** hmm...

 

**[Tokey has invited Nicole to Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**[Nichole has joined Tweek, Tweek's bf & Tweek's bros]**

 

**Tokey:** hey baby

 

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why I decided to rip on Style I like that ship too though not nearly as much as Creek. Pls dont take it too seriously, ily


End file.
